Relationship Driven Leadership

Do you ever stop to reflect on your leadership style? What is your style? How did you get to be who you are as a leader? Chances are you learned about the various traditional styles of leadership during your formal educational trajectory or through professional development initiatives. Chances are also that you embraced some of these styles or elements of each and incorporated them into your style for a “test drive.” I know I certainly did.   

Traditional styles such as - transformational, servant, autocratic, situational, and laissez-faire – remain in the toolbox and continue to be referenced by today’s leaders. There’s no single style that is inherently the best or the worst. No one style individually meets all needs either. Effective leaders often describe their styles as a combination of some or specific characteristics of all, with the determining factor being the goal at hand.   

Whether you’re a leader in the C suite or responsible for a department, your style has an impact on employees, teams and the organization. The expectations, challenges and pressures of being a leader in today’s workplace are intense.   Our styles develop and evolve over time, given a variety of life experiences. This unique style represents our personal brand. It’s what we’re known for as leaders and how our reputation is established. The key is to adopt a style that you feel comfortable with and that you feel really works for you. Regardless of how you define your style, do relationships play a formidable role in shaping your leadership persona? 

I would propose that leadership is all about cultivating and nurturing relationships. I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes by Rear Admiral Grace Hopper: “You manage things; you lead people.”  Regardless of your style, people are not meant to be managed; rather, they are led.   Your style sets the tone and guides the way you work with individuals or teams. Your success as a leader is dependent upon your ability to manage relationships and create a sense of mutual trust and respect. Leading people is a fluid and dynamic process. In my opinion, relationships are the cornerstone of successful leadership. 

Relationship driven leadership extends beyond a team or department and contributes to organizational outcomes. Employee engagement, retention and commitment to the organization are typically at higher levels when leaders value relationships.   We’ve all heard the timeless adage that employees will not leave a job because of the job itself; rather, they will leave because of their boss. People want to feel valued. They want to feel that their contributions make a difference. They want to feel there’s some benefit for them in the work at hand. Relationship driven leaders create a culture that makes people feel valued and heard. Getting to know the individual and understanding their strengths, opportunities, what motivates them, and their specific goals fashions a highly desirable workplace.   This type of culture results in employees who tend to be more motivated, committed to the organization and work harder to achieve the team’s goals. 

I’d like to challenge you to think about your role as a leader and the extent to which you value relationships.   I strive to be a relationship driven leader, and I credit much of the success I’ve attained in my career to relationships with people at all levels within the work setting. I read an interesting article recently authored by Robin Camarote for Inc. Newsletters.   She said something that really resonated with me and validated my perspective: “I stopped thinking about leadership as a role with responsibilities and started treating it as a relationship.”  Wow!! I love this statement!! Leadership really is so much more than the title, the role, the power. It truly is about people and our abilities as leaders to create a shared vision and work together with these individuals to achieve specific goals. 

Allow me to share with you some of my perspectives on being a relationship driven leader:

1.      First and foremost, build trust with each member of your team. Leaders are not able to create a following without mutual trust. With trust comes respect.

2.      Openly share your style with your employees. Tell them how you like to lead. Let them know what your pet peeves are, i.e., tardiness, failure to follow through, etc.   Doing so helps them acquire greater insight for how best to interact with you.

3.      Value the individual. Ask them to share something about themselves with you that will assist you in getting to know them as a person. Ask them about their goals and career aspirations.

4.      Practice empathy. Place yourself in the individual’s shoes to fully understand their situation and feelings. Empathy is essential for healthy relationships.

5.      Stay authentic. Walk the talk and practice what you preach. Expose your true self. Take ownership, accept failure and never blame others. People are smart and they will see through less than genuine leaders in an instant.

6.      Stay humble. Leadership is not a popularity contest. Acknowledge your limitations. Be comfortable in asking for help. Humility fosters authentic connections and genuine relationships.

7.      Give credit where credit is due. Acknowledge the work and contributions of others that resulted in achieving a successful outcome. Managing up these individuals or teams is critical and validates the value of their work.   It also aligns employees with the mission of the organization and makes them feel a part of achieving success.

8.      Ask for feedback and use this information for learning and self-improvement. Throughout my career I have always asked my direct reports several questions at the close of our one-on-one sessions:

• What feedback do you have for me?

• What do you need from me that you’re not getting?

• What are you getting from me that you don’t need?

It’s amazing what you can learn when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and open!

Until next time!! Muse on…