February is often referred to as the month of LOVE! This is the month we celebrate Valentine’s Day and acknowledge our affection for those who hold special places in our lives and in our hearts. The holiday draws our attention to the concept of love in a romantic sense. But did you know there is a Love Language for the workplace?

Gary Chapman, Ph.D., a well-known author, speaker, and marriage counselor, coined the term “love languages” in his 1992 book “The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” The 5 Love Languages include Words of affirmation, Acts of service, Quality time, Receiving gifts and Physical touch. Of the five, most people tend to have a primary or dominant language but may also have more than one. These love languages are not limited to romantic relationships but can also be applied to family, friendships, and workplace relationships. When incorporated into the workplace, love languages focus on how to make employees feel valued and appreciated. As such, the love languages are sometimes referred to as the 5 Appreciation Languages.

Studies suggest that a contributing factor to employee burnout and disengagement is the overall lack of recognition and feeling valued. Understanding and utilizing the concept of the Love Languages can help to increase engagement and productivity, assist leaders in communicating with individuals, build healthy relationships and offer insight into how best to interact with others and provide feedback. While leaders strive to maintain healthy relationships and professional boundaries with direct reports and colleagues, it is also important to cultivate meaningful connections with these individuals to create a highly desirable and productive work environment.

So, do you know what your love language is? Dr. Chapman offers a free Love Language Quiz on his website to help you identify your primary language, what it means and how best to use it to foster more meaningful connections with your loved ones. I found it fun and insightful! Check out the quiz here: The Love Language® Quiz. Also, Dr. Chapman offers a quiz specific to the workplace and the language of appreciation. This quiz is intended to assist leaders in how best to communicate appreciation and gratitude in a meaningful way. Here’s the link to that quiz: Home - MBA Inventory.

I encourage you to take both inventories to better understand how best to apply these concepts in your workplace. When you understand the 5 Love Languages and can identify your own language, you’ll be better equipped to recognize the primary love language of your team members. In turn, you’ll be able to convey appreciation and acknowledgement to each of them in a very meaningful way. And consider this – why not have your entire team take both quizzes so that they can learn more about each other and how best to show appreciation to their peers?

Below are some of my tips on how to use love languages in the workplace and to acknowledge employees in a meaningful way. How do you show your “love” at work? Until next time… Muse on!

Applying Love Languages in the Workplace

Words of Affirmation: Recognizing achievements and hard work through praise.

Manage up an employee in front of their peers
Mail a handwritten appreciation note to the employee’s home
Acknowledge outstanding performance with a text message or email immediately after learning of their accomplishment
Seek out the employees in their work zone to thank them personally for their good work, go to them

Acts of Service: Helping with tasks or projects.

Offer meaningful gestures to help or support an employee
Finish up a task so that the employee can make it to their child’s soccer game or other activity
Say “I’m free the rest of the day. What can I take off your plate”?
Show up and help out. Perhaps it’s a weather emergency or some other type of rare situation. Be present with your sleeves rolled up and ready to pitch in
If the team has to work late to meet a deadline, order in pizza or subs

Quality Time: One-on-one interaction and shared experiences, spending meaningful time with the individual.

Take a direct report to lunch and connect on a personal level
Invite someone to coffee, ensure the conversation is what the team member wants to discuss
Plan events/team-building exercises for the entire team
Coordinate a team “potluck” lunch for all to enjoy
Meet in person vs. online
Celebrate work anniversaries

Receiving Gifts:

Bring in some homemade muffins or other treats for the entire team one morning
Grab a coffee for someone you want to recognize
Offer a gift card to a local restaurant for someone and tell them to enjoy a fun evening with their special someone on you
Celebrate a team member’s Birthday with a cake, balloons, etc.

Physical Touch: Expressing care through physical contact; remember to be respectful of personal boundaries as some individuals do not care for personal touch in the workplace

Offer a high 5 to someone who’s just completed a task and done so very well
Fist bumps while saying, “way to go, John; you the man”
A pat on the back can convey a great deal of appreciation
Some individuals may actually appreciate a hug
For those who don’t care for actual physical touch, consider a trophy as a stand-in for the fist bump or a hug and display it on the employee’s desk or in their work area.

❤From Cupid to Coffee Runs: Spreading the Love (Languages) at Work❤

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