Resolution Dissolution
Ah – the beginning of another new year! The excitement of new possibilities, a blank slate and the chance for new beginnings is almost euphoric. New Year, New You??? Not me! I don’t feel the need to commit to creating a new me. I’m not into the traditional psychological seesaw of New Year’s Resolutions. Don’t get me wrong. I know making these resolutions is important for many and I support my friends and colleagues who choose to do so. For me, I want to be a better version of myself in 2025 and I will choose to pursue a slightly different approach.
New Year’s Resolutions are great in theory. The start of a new year serves as an excellent mental springboard for new possibilities. We feel energized and ready to take on a new world order – that of ourselves. Most of us are well intended; however, we tend to set goals or resolutions that are quite ambitious and usually unrealistic. You know the ones – lose weight, more work/life balance, work out every day, save more money, etc. Essentially, we set ourselves up for failure right out of the starting block, often creating great anxiety, undue stress, and disappointment in ourselves.
According to Webster’s Dictionary, when used in the context of a New Year, the word resolution is a noun meaning a promise to do something differently with synonyms of determinedness and perseverance. I was not surprised to read a recent study conducted by Dr. Michelle Rozen that found that a jaw-dropping 94% of us abandon our resolutions within two months!
The prefix of “re” means again or anew, or basically starting over. There are several terms used with the prefix “re” to define our intent to change something, better ourselves, or do something drastically different from our current norm. You’re probably familiar with these terms or phrases:
Reinvent ourselves
Reboot ourselves
Restart
Retool
Redeploy
Refurbish
Reengage
Repurpose
Reengineer
The list seems never-ending, and perhaps the latest buzzword is “repotting” as Hoda Kotb of NBC’s Today Show states she is ready for new growth in her personal life. Just as a plant sometimes needs a bigger pot or new soil to continue to flourish, so do our individual beings. As opposed to “starting over,” I see the opportunity to “add to” or refresh ourselves. In my opinion, all these terms boil down to one thing: reexamining ourselves and rethinking what approaches we can take to improve something about ourselves or to be better in some way than we are presently.
In 2025, I’m not making any New Year’s Resolutions; rather, I’m focusing on Release, Reaffirm, and Renew. I plan to release thoughts, stress and anxiety about things that I know are not within my control. I plan to reaffirm my accomplishments from this past year and celebrate them. I also plan to renew my body, mind and spirit with small, manageable and measurable elements of change.
In Releasing the stress and strain of things I know I cannot control; I maintain a more balanced emotional and psychological state of health. As the song states – let it go! I can’t always control the situation at hand, but I can control how I respond to it. Life happens. We’re all faced with a variety of events, professionally and personally, that are unplanned, difficult, and perhaps even emergent in nature. I stay focused on what aspects of the situation that I can control. Yes, it is easier said than done but I give it my best shot. I cannot control my 95-year-old mother’s dementia, and it is painful to watch her decline. I relish every opportunity to spend time with her and choose to see the joy in random moments of her clarity, wit, and wisdom.
Reviewing 2024 allows me to identify what went well and what did not. I reaffirm my accomplishments, celebrate them, and evaluate what contributed to their success. I also reflect on regrets or things that didn’t work out well and envision what I could have done differently to achieve a better outcome. Introspection is very powerful and can also be a little painful if we are brutally honest with ourselves. I was proud of my new website and writing a monthly blog – Mindful Musings. Doing so pushed me out of my comfort zone and really gave me a sense of accomplishment. I didn’t feel as good about what I now see as a missed opportunity to hold someone accountable for meeting an expectation. I could have/should have been more focused on several details, but I was not. Lesson learned!
I am planning to Renew myself in several ways this year. I’ve long been committed to my health, walking and regular exercise. I know it isn’t realistic for me to get in 10,000 steps every day, so I won’t set myself up for failure and disappointment. I’m shooting for an average of 8,000 steps per day each week. To me, this is much more manageable, realistic and it’s certainly measurable! In renewing my mind, I want to be more focused on practicing gratitude. I’m planning to reflect on the one thing I was most grateful for as I end my day and prepare for bed. My spirit will be renewed as I focus on the quality, not the quantity, of time I spend with family, friends and colleagues. I will cherish more random phone calls, Zooms, impromptu gatherings and open conversations. Instead of saying, “we really need to get together soon,” I’m going to commit to “Let’s get a date on the calendar and make it happen.”
I wish each of you a Happy New Year and one filled with opportunities to refresh and renew yourself. Be kind to yourself – you are enough! We are not perfect and shouldn’t strive to be. We can all be more and be better. Sometimes we just need to focus on the small things, just a few things to make a difference that is meaningful to us and affords us a sense of accomplishment.
I want to leave you with something that I found very inspiring. I’m a huge fan of the CBS Sunday Morning News Show. I was pleasantly surprised on the December 29th episode when Faith Salie, a correspondent for CBS, presented an amazing segment on resolutions – I cannot possibly state this any better than she did. I encourage you to watch the 2 minute and 15 second video clip – you will not be disappointed!